I've decided to start blogging again. In 2026. I'm sure this is a lost art, but I need an outlet for sharing my life. Here I can share what's going on in a public way but also hidden in an obscure corner. It won't be easy to find amongst the sea of AI fluff all over the internet. There will be no search engine optimization, no marketing, no advertising. Just my writing sitting on this web server as static html pages (100% created by me, no frameworks, just a little assistance from AI when I want to do something new). I get so much pleasure tinkering around with designing and developing individual features, I can focus on it for hours and suddenly realize it's 1:00 AM and I have to work in the morning. Just look at the header and think I spent probably a collective of 4 to 6 hours playing around with how it functions. And yes, I know there are shortcuts to just have it work, but I created this one completely on my own. All me. And it's simple but does exactly what I want it to do. Not just close enough to call it good.
The last time I wrote an article I was moving into my parents from my South Portland apartment. Since then, I moved to Sanford and now back again with my parents. And in the next few weeks I'll be moving down into the basement. Where I belong. All kidding aside, it's more private and more separated from my parents. So they will have their space and I will have mine.
I moved back at the end of February of this year. I was in a relationship and we lived together in Sanford. That ended so I came back. While I would rather be living on my own, rent and house prices are so astronomically high, it makes no sense to live on my own right now while I have the option to save money. Not that I'm really saving these days, but I'm not throwing my money towards rent. Eventually I would like my own place, but that's a long road to go down and I'm just not there yet.
After being in a relationship for a year and a half and having it end, I can say I learned a lot. More about myself then I ever imagined possible. And what I want in a partnership. Even though that partnership was close to everything I wanted, I wasn't able to fully dive in and be myself, and it cost me everything.
How can you go from having your dream right in front of you to all of a sudden not there at all? I can't. At least not quickly. And while I'm in a much better spot than I was for the first few months, I'm still not back to myself. It's going to take a while to get there. And for the first time in my life I'm looking inwards, at all the dark corners, covered in spiderwebs. Brushing those aside and fixing the cracks that nobody sees unless they are down on their knees and inspecting everything closely.
Honestly, this inner work I'm doing is fun. Who knew therapy would be fun? Learning how my brain works, where my feelings come from, and what's imprinted in my nervous system, it's all fascinating. I've always tried to figure out and understand how something works, like a puzzle coming together in my mind. So why not put that skill to use and use it on myself to, I don't know, maybe become a whole person?
I am starting to come out of my shell though. And I have a laundry list of activities and interests I want to explore. So many, in fact, I should write down a list. When I feel like sharing, I'll post about it here.
I supposed if you found this page and you want to reach out, you can find me on social media. Don't be afraid to reach out and ask me what I'm up to! I'm always up for a conversation discussing ideas and learning about new topics. And I'd be super impressed if someone actually read this and started a conversation with me about it.